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Things Bartenders Hate

For those of you readers that don’t know, I’m a bartender! Generally, I like my job. It pays well, and the hours go by fast because I usually am keeping pretty busy. But there have been several things that I’ve found that I hate while slinging suds. So please keep reading and enjoy!

Stop asking for free drinks.

I don’t care that it’s your birthday. I don’t care if you lost your wallet. I don’t care if you only have $5. It’s never okay to ask a bartender for free drinks. They can actually lose their job or get arrested for giving out free alcohol. If you’re drinking at a respectable establishment, you won’t get free drinks.

No, I will not make your drink “extra strong.”

If you slip me an extra $2 tip (woah, there, big spender), and ask for your drink to be made really strong, all I’m going to do is wink back at you and make your drink exactly how I would make anyone else’s drink. We get asked this 8 times a night, and you are not a special snowflake.

Don’t order something “hip.”

If you’re going to order a drink that nobody has ever heard of but you, please know what is in it so you can tell us how to make it. I have no clue what goes in a ‘tropical twister,’ ‘opera house,’ or a ‘monkey’s uncle,’ and you aren’t allowed to get mad at me for having no idea what you just ordered.

Please don’t pull the race card.

Sir, you are the 30th person in line. It’s going to take me a few minutes to get to you. Declaring loudly that you would be served faster if you weren’t black isn’t going to make me get to you sooner; it’s simply going to annoy me and a dozen other people. I promise we aren’t making you wait because of your color. We’re making you wait because it’s a first-come-first-serve establishment.

Don’t order top shelf liquor and then refuse to pay a top shelf price.

Please understand that ordering doubles of Grey Goose and Patron all night will ring up a very large tab very quickly. Please don’t throw a fit and refuse to pay your $200 tab at the end of the night after ordering liquor with a high price point. Next time, order a beer.

I’m sure I will come up with more things to add to this list, so please subscribe and stay tuned to see more.

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